The State of Affairs

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Esther Perel
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Harper 2017-10-10 Hardcover 9780062322586

具體描述

Esther Perel is a couples and family therapist with a private practice in New York City. She is on the faculty of the International Trauma Studies program at Columbia University, is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy, and has appeared on many television programs, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Day New York, CBS This Morning, and HBO's Women Aloud. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.

Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.

Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about the human heart—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.

An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so too the prohibition against it—in fact, it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So what are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.

For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.

Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”

用戶評價

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##從蔣凡到羅誌祥,過去這一周的網絡熱點被齣軌的男人承包瞭。今天好好聊一聊齣軌。從以下5個方麵展開 1、如何定義齣軌? 2、齣軌帶來的傷害? 3、齣軌和性彆有關係嗎? 4、如何麵對另一半的齣軌? 5、齣軌過的關係可以修復嗎? 1、如何定義齣軌? 關於齣軌的定義,不同地區,不...  

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##例子生動 文筆到位

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##寫得有點亂吧,反正人類婚姻關係一整個沒意思。婚女開心就好

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##補碼。 外遇也是一個無可比擬的窗口,讓我們能夠窺見人類心中的裂縫。 但關於婚外情,作者其實沒有解答,陳列齣許多,利弊都有,但就是沒有答案,隻有建議,哪怕這是窺視自己的一個窗口,也彆走這條路。 monogamy原本就是違背人類天性的,既要承載愛,也要承載責任,更要框定人類欲望與好奇,實在是overloaded瞭的。 哪有人可以完美到滿足自己所有這些情感需求且能不停保持新鮮感,又得直到喪失性能力前都能對彼此身體感興趣,醒醒吧,絕大多數時候,婚姻不過妥協而已。

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##寫作風格太散亂,例子太多,看不太下去瞭。不過得到一些啓發

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##寫得有點亂吧,反正人類婚姻關係一整個沒意思。婚女開心就好

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##隻要能製造一個討論的缺口就足夠瞭

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